In the times of waiting

This blog is for you who are looking for strength and courage before the big day. Amazing moms share different birth stories, unique in their own way, as well as insights to pass on to expectant parents.

Many thanks to our mothers who shared <3

 

Johanna's story

This is a beautiful birth story from Johanna (Instagram: johannagrantcom), who planned a home birth. Humbled by not being able to plan a birth one hundred percent, Johanna had a goal and a vision to give birth to her child in a calm and safe way at home.
Johanna and her partner prepared carefully by creating a safe and comfortable environment, had contact with a doula who supported them throughout the process. It was not an easy journey, but with the support of each other and the professionals present, they were able to handle everything that came their way.

"It's 6:30 a.m. and I'm up peeing, everything is as usual. No sign of anything. 06.50 Lily wakes up and has to go to the toilet, so I come along. I stand up and the classic "snap" is heard and I have time to think "wonder if the water is running now". Go 5-6 meters out into the hall by the stairs and yes, there comes a large load of water. V is sleeping upstairs, I say in a rather low voice from downstairs 'I think the water broke' and he wakes up in a millisecond (never happens otherwise). According to him, it sounded like I was standing next to his ear and talking normally, so he was probably very ready and prepared.

I call mom who will come and pick up Lily and then I call my doula who will be there to assist. The water continues to trickle and come every time I stand up but no pains start. 2-3 hours later the doula appears and we start straight away with exercises from 'Active baby' to get the baby in the optimal position and thus be able to start the contractions (we think he was probably lying with his head slightly tilted and therefore no contractions). The time is probably closer to 10.30/11 now, I'm guessing. We do the three basic exercises one after the other and then start with acupressure. Towards lunchtime (12-13) the first small sensations begin. We alternate exercises according to instructions and I also roll around a bit while sitting on a pilates ball for almost 1 hour while the pains increase more and more. By 3pm I know the intensity is really picking up and by this time I'm clocking everything and it's getting closer to descent into the birthing pool.

I go into the pool around 16.15-16.30. Then the work continues there. Terrible pains but nice breaks in between. I feel it progressing and this time I feel when he starts to push down (I never did with Lily) and that pain was the worst, then it was hard to stay positive. Then it's time for the head to come out and it flows well, needs a little assistance from the outside when the head is out before the rest of the body comes and at 18.20 all of him is out and the feeling is: confusion, unreal and exhausted.

After a while we move to our own bed (that feeling was unbeatable and wait for the placenta to leave which happens within 1h. He is alert and awake. Breastfeed and after maybe 2h we start preparing to go into the delivery room for a check. I shower of me, put on my own clothes and 4 hours after his birth we arrive at the delivery room, I am examined, the umbilical cord is cut, he is weighed and measured and we make an appointment for a medical examination.
A fantastic, calm, undramatic and loving birth in our own home. In our own living room. With company that we chose ourselves. With quiet hours afterwards for the best opportunity to connect, etc. It was a dream.”

Johanna's tips for childbirth:

• Have a vision of how you want your birth to be, but once it happens, you have to take things as they come.
• Focus on maintaining breathing and calmness in all situations
• Tell your partner or support person what you expect from them. The fact that you are on the same page and that you get the support you want is so empowering

 

Emelie's story

This is Emelie's story, about a birth that was not at all what she imagined, which ended with an emergency caesarean section and a realization to be able to accept the situation as it is.

“It's really true that life can't always be planned, especially when it comes to childbirth and the new life that comes afterwards. It is easy to feel both happy and hopeful but at the same time stressed and worried about everything that is going to happen, but it is important to remember that it is okay to take things as they come and that it is completely normal and permissible to feel different way.

When I was about to give birth to my first child myself, I did everything I could to prepare as much as possible. I packed my bb bag early with everything I thought I would need, cooked food to keep in the freezer and tried to plan as much as possible. But a few weeks before the expected day, everything did not go quite as planned. I gave birth to my baby prematurely, in difficult circumstances and ended up in the neonatal unit, which was a completely different experience than I had expected.

It was a tough time, but I quickly learned that it was more important to have a sense of acceptance and to take things as they came, than to try to control everything. Having the support of my partner and loved ones was invaluable and it was also important to ask for help when needed. Having food in the freezer and a plan for how to take care of yourself and your family afterward is good, but it's also important to have flexibility and be open to change.

The most important thing for me was to feel that I had acceptance for the situation and that it was okay to take it as it came. This gave me a sense of calm and safety in the midst of all the chaos.

So while it's good to prepare for the birth and the time afterwards, it's important to remember that things don't always go as planned and that it's okay to ask for help when needed. It is also important to have a sense of acceptance and to take things as they come, to reduce the stress and anxiety that can arise during this time

Today there are a few days left until the third child is expected. And to be open to the fact that it can be the way it is, for me, is an experience I feel I have been strengthened by today."

 

Marielle's story

This is Marielle's story, about a planned caesarean section due to breech presentation and her thoughts about it.

"It was a feeling I had never experienced before, a mixture of nervousness and anticipation unlike any other. Our birth was planned as a C-section, so we were prepared for the procedure itself. Even so, it was a strange feeling, a mix of excitement and calm, as we headed to the delivery room in the morning for preparations.

The night before had been restless, knowing it was our last night 'in the house itself'. The morning was quiet and chilly, and I showered and soaped myself with an antibacterial soap as recommended by the doctor. The feeling in the car on the way to the birth was special. I was ready to meet my child, but at the same time I wanted to be ignorant of exactly when it would happen. I wanted to take it as it came, not knowing the time.

We had previously visited the maternity ward, but I was so set on a vaginal birth that I hadn't really absorbed the information about C-sections. I was grateful that it was a planned operation, given the risks of breech birth. At the same time, I felt a little squeamish about the possibility of experiencing a vaginal birth and getting to know what labor pain feels like.

My partner was with me during the birth and was a great reassurance to have by my side, even though he doesn't really like hospital environments. He wore the required green robes and joked about looking like a doctor. He was present and an incredible support throughout the procedure. It meant a lot to me to have him there.

There was a wonderful atmosphere in the preparation room. The staff were fantastic and full of enthusiasm for the upcoming birth. I got to shower and get ready again, well informed and guided by the amazing staff. They told us what to expect and explained why ports and catheters needed to be inserted. They also showed which room the baby would be taken to if there was a need for help after birth. After a somewhat long wait, it was finally time for us to go to the operating room.

In the operating room we were met by a staff that exceeded my expectations. There were more of them than I had thought, and they all gave me a positive feeling that they were really looking forward to welcoming my child into the world. The anesthesiologist was sitting next to me, carefully monitoring everything, and I felt safe with their presence.

The cut took a little longer than planned, and there was a sense of urgency and a slightly strained atmosphere in the room. But my focus was on catching a glimpse of my child and feeling her against my cheek. I only had a short time with her before the staff acted quickly and took her to another room to help her breathe. My partner went with them to be by her side.

While I remained on the operating table and was being stitched up, the anesthesiologist spoke to me reassuringly. They explained that it can be a little complicated to get a baby out in a seat and that sometimes extra help is needed to ensure oxygenation. I don't remember much from that moment, but I remember feeling that I should react more to the situation, that I became aware that I must have been quite groggy.

The wait to be reunited with my partner and child felt endless. Every second felt like an eternity. But finally a member of staff came into the room and reassured me with the happy words that everything was fine. The feeling of relief and joy that filled my heart at that moment is difficult to describe in words.

In summary, it was an extremely positive and successful experience. The commitment, support and professional treatment of the staff made all the difference. Although I may not have been able to feel and react the way I expected, I was grateful that everything went well and that I got to be part of an amazing team that made my child's arrival into the world a truly memorable event.

In retrospect, it doesn't feel like the surgery was the worst, which I probably expected because there were few I set as a goal to get over. It was rather the time after the operation that was difficult, that it was difficult to be able to move and take care of your child, I would have liked to have been more prepared for that.

 

Every birth story is unique, do you want to join in and share your experiences with other expectant parents? Do not hesitate to contact us, together we can create a place where every story can take place and where we can learn from each other.