As your child gets a little older, the question starts to creep in: is it time to stop with the nappy now? The short, reassuring answer is that it isn't about a particular age, but about your child being ready — and it can't be rushed. Here we go through how to tell it's getting close, and how to make the change as gentle and stress-free as possible.
From Emelie: This isn't expert advice — just things we've gathered as a family. If I'm to say one thing: let go of any pride about it. It doesn't get better for stressing, and almost all children become nappy-free in the end, in their own time. If you're wondering about your own child, your child health clinic (BVC) and 1177 are the best places to ask.
The most important thing: it's about being ready, not about age
Becoming nappy-free in the day is driven by your child's maturity and interest — not by the calendar. The range is wide and completely normal: some children show signs early, others much later, and both are exactly as they should be. So you don't need to compare with siblings, other children, or a number you've read somewhere.
As a rough guide, some children are nappy-free in the day around the age of two, some earlier if you've actively worked towards it, and many later than that — it all falls within the normal range.
What you can look out for instead are signs that your child is starting to be ready:
- The nappy is dry for longer stretches — your child holds on for a while at a time.
- Your child becomes curious about the potty or the toilet, and likes to copy.
- They can pull their trousers down and up reasonably well themselves.
- They tell you, show you, or take themselves off when they wee or poo.
- They understand and can follow simple instructions.
- They seem to find a wet or dirty nappy uncomfortable.
The more of these you recognise, the closer you are. But it's not a checklist that has to be fully ticked — see it as a hint that it might be time to start trying.
How cloth nappies can help along the way
One small advantage of cloth nappies is that your child feels more easily when they're wet. Turn the bamboo side of the insert towards the skin — it feels damp in a way the stay-dry surface doesn't, and that connection between weeing and feeling it is exactly what helps your child on towards the potty. If you have pocket nappies, you can place the insert on the outside of the pocket for a while for the same effect. It isn't a training method, just a gentle little nudge built into the material.
Many cloth nappy parents find that their child actually becomes nappy-free a little earlier, and this is usually the explanation: when a child feels when they're wet, they learn to recognise their own signals sooner. It's no guarantee — every child is their own — but it's a common and welcome side effect.
Elimination communication — an early path for those who want it
Some families start early with elimination communication (baby-led potty training) — holding the baby over the potty and reading their signals long before ordinary potty training. It's more about catching the moments and getting to know your child's rhythm than about "training" anything. One sign many recognise is when your child starts to understand the connection and you notice them taking themselves off when they're about to wee or poo — that's often a good moment to offer the potty.
How to make the change gentle
- Make the potty — or the toilet — available. Some children actually prefer the toilet with a child seat over a potty. Let your child choose; what matters is that it feels safe and not like a demand.
- Dress your child simply. Trousers that are easy to pull down themselves make all the difference when it's suddenly urgent.
- Praise the effort, not the result. Your child trying, telling you, or sitting down is worth a happy word — whether or not anything ended up in the potty.
- Keep accidents undramatic. They're part of it, every single child has them. Wipe up calmly and move on, so the mood stays relaxed.
- Step back without shame. If it doesn't feel like the right time, put the nappy back on and try again in a few weeks. It's not a failure — just a pause.
If it takes time
Many children need longer than you'd expected, and that's completely normal. There'll be steps forward and steps back, especially around changes like a new nursery or a new sibling. If you feel worried, or would like advice about your own child, your child health clinic (BVC) and 1177 are the right places — there's knowledgeable help to be had.
And remember that the night is a journey all of its own, coming in its own time, often long after the days are dry — that's exactly as it should be. If you'd like to read more about the whole path to nappy-free, there's our potty training guide, and for dry nights in particular our guide to night nappies.
A little reminder: these are experiences, not medical advice. If you're worried about your child's development or bladder — get in touch with your child health clinic (BVC) or read more at 1177.
By Emelie, founder of Time Ahead Sweden — mum of three and curious about how we as parents can make thoughtful choices in everyday life.